“Short-Fingered Vulgarian” or Just “Vulgarian?”

Long ago, possibly before you were even born the way things are going, anyway in 1988, Gradon Carter, an editor/founder of SPY Magazine (lamented), coined a phrase to describe a real estate developer in New York of notable vanity and no taste. He called him a “short-fingered vulgarian.” This reportedly steamed the subject, the easily steamable Donald Trump, who still brings it up at his little cult rallies and once at a debate (March 3, 2016, “Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he” [Marco Rubio] “referred to my hands — if they’re small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”) So.

Today I received the Daily New Yorker email, with a story “What’s Next for Ukraine,” which featured the following photo:

The swordsman on the right, though not identified, is of course Trump (himself). Note that the hands are at roughly an equal distance from Mr Loeb’s camera

For background, according to his Fulton County Jail booking records, Trump is 6’ 3”, and Volodymyr Zelensky is reported to be 5’ 7”, or a full 8 inches shorter than Trump.

On seeing the photo I realized that here was a nice real-world case where we could obtain an objective judgment as to whether or not “short-fingered vulgarian” (or just “vulgarian,” about which there is little disagreement) was fair, as we had a significantly shorter person with whom we could compare digits, so:

Neither hand’s scale has been changed — deftly juggling Photoshop and switching Trump’s hand to the left and Mr Zelensky’s to the right, we then had:

And finally, bringing the hands closer, we get:

Again, the besuited hand on the left belongs to Trump, the other belongs to Mr Zelensky.

So — “Vulgarian,” or “Short-fingered vulgarian?” It seems Gradon Carter’s observational skills are borne out, and Trump is indeed a “short-fingered vulgarian.” He’s also a dunce.